Christmas is coming

Thank you for this...I love it more than anything else in the world.

The festive season never fails to make one yearn for loved ones by your side. I've never felt that Christmas could be romantic, until I met her.

The significance of a Christmas reunion only came to light last year when a snowman from Berlin told me that it was "our 1st Christmas together" - an occasion that came so close to not happening.

Now I'm wondering: How will my Christmas be like next year? How will my 30th birthday be spent? How will it be like without her around?

As for now, I'm gonna have myself a merry little Christmas. And I hope you do too.

Because nothing else matters than the present moment.

She doesn't know

Emptiness has become the norm. The meaning behind deep conversations is now lost.

When fueled with unconditional attention, the star glows and radiate energy that becomes uncontrollable.

But when left alone, she withers and mulls the relative distance between everyone.

She yearns for excitement, yet is nonchalant about it. She doesn't know what she wants anymore because she's not been given any options.

She finds it meaningless - everything is meaningless; for all that is in front of her will cease to exist in the snap of her fingers.

She craves for creativity, for spontaneity, but is hindered by her sterility and endlessly seeking for perfection.

She knows the darkness will never go away and she knows she will have to live with it for the rest of her life. Has she not lived with it till now?

She's dropping contact with almost everyone she knows. Because she's tired to talk, she's tired to walk, she's tired of herself.

She's tired of living and she's tired of giving.

She doesn't know her meaning on Earth. She's lost, confused, indifferent and running out of steam.

She asks herself if she's really strong enough to continue plodding on...

...and she doesn't know.