Transitions

I know I haven't updated my blog for months. There has simply been too much going on at work, with my bunnies, as well as family. To sum it all up: All is good (and it's never been better). Perhaps it'd be easier if I were to sum things up each month - at least have a blog entry per month I suppose?

Family ties have been smooth - my mum has decided to stop working at the age of 56. So far so good, but I do hope she'll go out more to socialise or join in some activity of some sort. Bunnies are as cute as usual - everyone loves them and they make me so happy even though there isn't much reciprocation on their part. Children.

As for work, it has been great! Still enjoying it although there have been some movements around. Received a promotion early this year and just recently, I have been offered to embark on something new and exciting. All will be revealed in time to come. I'm plunging into semi-deep waters and it's either I'll sink or swim, which I'm sure I'll be able to do the latter.

At this point in my life, I have never been this contented and happy. Everything is smooth-sailing and I am extremely blessed. But I also know that all things are fleeting and things do pass - good and bad. One must always learn to live in the present and this valuable lesson remains true in good times like now.

My life is an ongoing transition, even when it's in a standstill. 

My life partner, the closest person in my life, is going through what I see as the biggest physical, mental and emotional transition ever - a gradual transition from being a woman to a man. 

Now, many know I that I have been a lesbian for almost half of my life, so how is it that I can accept being with someone who will most probably be a man in the future? This was a question I asked myself when she decided to take her first shot of hormones. Will I be able to accept this familiar stranger she's turning into? Will her mentality change? Will I still be considered gay or straight? What will my sexual orientation be? And the biggest question was: Will I still love her?

I've considered so many questions but I haven't had the time to reflect and really think things through. Because there wasn't a need to. The answer was simple: I knew deep down, right in my guts, that I will continue to love her when she becomes a him. I fell in love with someone not because she had womanly parts but because I had fallen in love with the person she is and her soul within.

We both know there will be plenty of challenges, conflicts and obstacles coming our way - more so for her than for me. Her courage to take the first step is something many have not had the balls to do (not trying to be sarcastic here). Her resolute, unswerving determination to be who she really is or wants to be is extremely admirable. Besides being around to support her through all this, her braveness is in turn a source of inspiration for me.

It'll be a long process, it'll be tumultuous, it'll be exciting, it'll be unnerving at times, and frightening the next. But most importantly, rest assured that I will be by your side all the way, and it'll be worth it some day when we see mini "simlims" running around.

Hence begins the story of our lives...

12.09.2012

Awesomest cake ever! Happy anniversary to us - and a happy birthday to me :)

Human dynamics

The thing about human relationships is that it is fucking complicated. Family, friends, love - as long as a man is not a loner, he will face the complexities wrought by emotions that overcome rationale thought.


Family 


Often taken for granted, a family has already accepted your living habits much more than any condoning roommate would. But then comes other problems. Fights, abuse, assault, verbal insult, harsh criticism, hatred bordering on love, love bordering hatred, forgiveness, anger.


How does one deal with a cauldron of such emotions broiling every now and then, and often threatening to spill and splutter? Repression obviously doesn't work because the extremely oppressed people I've encountered have so much hatred in their hearts, it amazes me how they can ever learn to love.


When it comes to family, you can't walk away.


Friends


Less taken for granted compared to Family, but is often the most misunderstood, misinterpreted relationship forged with another human being. More often than not, friends tend to stab you in the back, rather than in front of you. Only true friends will stab you in the front they say.


But it's not that simple.


A person's character sometimes disallows people from stabbing them from the front and right into the heart, because everyone has a natural defense mechanism. It's in-built. There's nothing we can do. So instead of igniting a mechanism that either defends or assaults you back, you walk away and choose a non-confrontational path.


So we end up forgoing many relationships. But there are a few that you can't walk away from and end up walking back.


Love


Too much has been written, too much has been said. If the above two relationships take so much to maintain, this takes the cake for being the most-pain-in-ass relationship to maintain.


That's why I'm not even going to go there. 


I'm just relieved I don't need to. 

Say hello to my grandchildren!

Welcome to the world, my little bundles of joy! You made me such a happy grandmother on July 12, 12.30am.

New life is always a miracle, bringing much elation and excitement into our daily lives. Mini buns, I love you but we'll have to say good-bye in two to three months time. I wish three of you a good and healthy life ahead with your new parents.


So far, Beady has been feeding and nursing them well. Am so relieved because some first-time mothers don't usually take care of their kits when they're born.


Right after the birth:











Day 1: Checking the mini bunbuns to see if they're being fed. Contrary to popular belief (or myth), mother rabbits do not reject their young if they smell a human scent on them. Wild rabbits, yes, but domestic does that are used to your scent will be fine and will continue to nurse their kits.





Day 5: Fatter, bigger and fur has grown. Still blind but wriggling around their nest energetically. One of it has a white dot on its forehead, another one is a dark grey shade and the other a lighter shade. Three shades of grey. :)





The proud grandma and her proud and brave bunbun. 


Can't wait for the mini buns to open their eyes and grow their fur out so we can tell what colour they are. 

Date a Girl Who Reads, by Rosemarie Urquico

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.


Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.


Buy her another cup of coffee.


Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.


It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.


Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.


Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.


Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.


If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.


You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.


Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.


Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

No longer giving up

Unlike many who have given up or have made me give up even when I didn't want to, this time, giving up is not in our books.

Coz I'll never give up on you.

Beady Bambi Baby Bunnies

I'm officially a mother now! 

Two new babies have joined the family. Say hello to Bambi and Beady - two Netherland Dwarf bunnies! 

Beady (black otter) is exceptionally mischievous and annoying, while Bambi (grey) is docile and zen. Basically, their characteristics are exactly like me and the gf's. 

This is our first encounter with Beady. She got her name because of how her eyes are like: beady-eyed.

First encounter with Bambi. She's called Bambi because of the way she kept moving around when we first saw her. 

We bought a 'loft' apartment for the hunny bunnies.

At two months, Beady is looking a bit mature now and is slowly losing her baby face.

Bambi gave us a fright one day when we realised she stopped eating. Apparently Beady kept disturbing her while she eats and she got too scared to eat and is now malnourished.

Finally got her appetite back after a day or two.

I'm a bunny mummy now..and I love it! 

Beady and Bambi are the love of my life now, my little children for the childless me. Never have I felt so happy just looking at them do nothing in the cage. 


Please grow up healthy and happy, my lil' ones. I want to see both of you do bunny binkies someday! 


(Bunny daddy, quit being jealous over them).