Little White Pills

The pills I took to delay my period over the Bali trip have totally screwed up my hormones and my mood swings are totally fucked now. I can be light-hearted for an hour or so, and I’ll be back to being all emo and depressed, with me trying hard to hold back my tears.

And just to inject a bit of excitement, I get bouts of anxiety attacks with my heart beating at such a fast rate I can barely breathe. On top of that, I get butterflies in my stomach because I’m feeling nervous half the time.

And I get all this just by sitting at my desk at work. Last night, I managed to meet up with a few friends. Throughout the whole time, I was fine but I still suffered from small anxiety attacks, and my stomach was hurting from being too nervous, so much so that I had a hard time making sure I was behaving normally. Even loud music and crowds did not succeed in distracting me.

This morning I came into the office all bubbly and cheerful. It’s now after lunch and I’m feeling all jittery and emo again.

Since I’ve stopped the pills I’ve been worrying so much, it’s unbelievable. This is a major fuck up I tell you. It’s screwing me over and I’m trying hard to function properly.

I swear never to take the pills again.