Death Scare

I just had a near death experience. Or rather, fear of death experience.

We went for lunch during office hours with a lawyer and his friend, to some high-class Japanese restaurant. Without knowing, they opened two bottles of champagne. I had only two glasses. But everyone knows my alcohol tolerance is 0, and I still had two glasses.

All was fine, the food was great. I had strange sashimi which I've never had before; chawanmushi with sharks fin, and all sorts of weird stuff which I've never knew existed. All was fine, until I reached my office building, smoked two cigarettes and wham! That was it. I was blacking out in the toilet, shat and puked, and to top things up, I had BAD period cramps.

So bad that I experienced seizures. My hands and fingers wouldn't moved and were cramped in an awkward position. My feet were rooted to the floor and I was moaning and groaning in pain. The pain I was experiencing was such an excruciating one; one which I've never felt before. My mind was closing in on me and I wanted to just switch it off and shut it down, so that my brain wouldn't experience such torture.

But then I thought of my family, friends, Bunny, stuff I've not yet experienced, places I've not been to, and I kept telling myself I can't let my mind shut down, in fear of not waking up again. Because who knows, I might just black out and never wake up again to see the faces of my loved ones. I was even deliberating if I should just close it up and switch off, so that I wouldn't experience physical pain anymore, or should I remain alert in order to see my loved ones again.

And I chose the latter. Somehow or another, I managed to pull through. My pain stopped even before I took any medication. Doctors and nurses from my office building came down and were calling for an ambulance. I opened my mouth and could barely utter a "no, no hospitals, no ambulance." I'm ok, I really am.

True enough, I was fine. In 15 minutes. Albeit weak and exhausted, I was ok. The pain vanished on its own accord and I was mentally alert once again.

So it IS true when people say: mind over body. I've never, ever experienced it till today.

And I'm so glad my mind pulled me through this ordeal, that I could shut out the pain and regain self-consciousness.

I'm going to fix an appointment with the office doctor for an examination, as the pain I experience each month is so excruciating that perhaps something might be wrong inside of me.

So, after this drama, I just want to say: I love you guys. And you're the only reason why I pulled through. :)