Why I do not read horoscope forecasts anymore

"There's no pretense. It's all real. It has always been and will always be."


Sometimes when I lose sight and courage of the things and circumstances that surround me, I look back at the day where I sat in the lands of an ancient sacred temple with a rice field behind me, and remind myself that I could have died there and then.


I could have faced danger, threat. I could have never returned. I could have gone missing. Yet, despite knowingly thrusting myself face on, I never realised a single notion of fear because that day, I had nothing to lose. I was at peace within and if life - as I knew it to be - ended that day, I would have had no regrets.


Drugged and sick, I trudged on in unfamiliar territory. Not in any way was I caring whether my life was in danger or whether I was being watched. 


I was in a different state of mind. I felt liberated. I was precarious. I was - how do I put this - a little reckless maybe (like how I always am)? 


Until now. 


Now I ensure that my wellbeing is duly notified in case she get worried. I would not go traipsing alone in some foreign land so that she will never have to worry about me again. I will look after myself, nurture myself, so that she can focus on her personal development. 


I will ensure that this security and ethos that we've built together will remain strong and not wither. Because for the longest time ever, I feel liberated while being bonded; free yet safe; strong yet weak. 


And those are the reasons why I do not read my horoscope forecasts anymore.


For the longest time I could remember, every time I grabbed hold of a magazine or any supplement that had a monthly horoscope reading in it, I would pore over my zodiac and read what is in store for me. And the only reason I did so was simply because of all the insecurity and uncertainty I felt. I needed a hint, an inkling into what could happen or what another party was thinking of.


I have stopped wondering what the future would hold, because somehow, I know for sure. I knew it then and I know it now. No doubts, no insecurities, no fear, no uncertainty, no pretense, no questions.


Perhaps I might be wrong. But at least I'm at peace within and if the parachute doesn't open while I'm plunging, so be it. Shit happens.




"Only you know how to handle me."


"I know. I just ignore and let you be."


"Tsk...yeah, ok. :)"