We traipsed around only to find ourselves going in a definite radius around a point. This point is one which we try so hard to reach no matter how far we stretch ourselves.
Perhaps for a mere moment, we embraced it but somehow... somewhere along the way, someone was careless and in moment's folly, we lost what we tried so hard to grasp.
We ended up losing our bearings and started wandering around without a concrete direction.
Parallel lines never meet. They might be heading towards the same direction, they make a bend round the corner, they curve around obstacles...but they never meet.
What would make them meet would be a drastic change in events, a sudden pull so hard it changes the course it was on.
Whenever I lose direction - no matter is it driving or walking in a foreign country - I keep on walking straight ahead without making any turns. Perhaps in certain countries, it might be a stupid thing to do, but if I still feel lost after walking straight, I'd just turn back and continue walking straight to the point where I started from. I secretly like getting lost because I derive pleasure from finding my way back. I love driving around, getting lost and the further I go, the happier I am - I sense freedom while doing that.
But this time, I am not feeling any pleasure finding my way back. This time, I turned around and faced a frozen wall. I've been pacing up and down next to this wall, pondering if I should go around it, climb over it, or turn away and continue walking.
And this wall isn't any frozen wall. The thick ice refuses to melt no matter how I will it to. All of a sudden, I understood the meaning of being emotionless. No, that can't be it. I'm just afraid. Fucking scared. Yes, that's right.
I'm afraid to break it down; I'm afraid of what's behind it. Will I see multitude forms of anger, hatred and betrayal? Or will I see a different form of tenderness, commitment and faith? Maybe I should just stick to pacing next to it and see if it thaws on its own accord.
So here we go again...we revert to how we were. Only this time, we're walking in parallel directions...and some times, I just want to give up.
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