How I've documented my life since 2003

Bunny and I went to Lido last night to catch Transformers and while I was queuing up at the popcorn stall, I bumped into a Melbourne friend whom I met AGES ago. Let me see, I think we officially met each other in 2000 through a mutual friend. I remember it was the IRC days (winks at Zon and Richard) and we met through a pool game at Charltons - Val is her name. I know some of you might remember her.

Anyway, the point of this entry is not to reminisce on my good/bad old days in Melbourne, but she brought up something - my old blog. We chatted for a bit before she caught up with her friends and the next "important" question she asked me was, "How come you're not on LJ anymore?" And I was stunned because I had totally forgot I was rather 'active' in LiveJournal prior to switching to Blogspot. Why she brought that up is no mystery. Besides our occasional chance meetings in the city, we found each other on Friendster and that's when we started reading each other's blog because we were both on LJ.

So here I am, with my ass plonked in front of my brother's half-dead PC with my old blog loaded in the next tab. Honestly, I don't really want to venture more than 2 pages of my blog entries because it really isn't a wise thing to look at your past and start criticising yourself for what you should have or shouldn't have done. However, there ARE a few interesting entries and now that I'm reading my past posts (which isn't really too long ago, maybe a year or so?), I think I've learnt something about myself again.

I realised I kept talking and talking about my uncompleted masters, and then afterwards about my last trip to Melbourne, my new job, how I was suffering from mild insomnia, and so on and so forth. So whiny! Tsk. I'm annoyed at myself now. Well, at least I have the lucidity to put my life in order now and to finally, finally let go of my emotional baggage from so many years before. I've been in a self-destructive mode for almost the past 7 years of my life, although of course not to the extent of drug addiction or anything along that line. Right now, it seems as if a veil has been lifted and things are orderly (I like order), even if I'm not really doing something I love, but it's almost as if I'm reaching a state where I can tell myself that I'm in control now; I've always been.

Last night, my mother asked me if I knew any lawyers so that she could finalise the divorce. D-I-V-O-R-C-E hasn't been in my dictionary for the longest time and when she brought it up, it brought me back to the turmoil I know I've always been through - what about dad? Divorce is easy now because there are no issues with custody or property; it's just not easy for the eldest child, your daughter. But I shall not spell out my woes.

Hmmm, I meant to re-post a horoscope reading from my old blog because I found it very accurate indeed and I wanted to archive it here, but I must have gone off topic. I'll do it next time I suppose.

Although I really hate reading some posts in my old blog, I can't bear to delete it. 2003 to 2004 posts were darn boring; most of the entries went like this, "Can't believe I couldn't wake up for the 9.30 lesson. Had coffee with XX and XX. Met XX for dinner. Decided to start on my work tonight". And then it gradually progressed to longer and longer articles, and finally to other interesting topics which covered a bit of political issues, current affairs and of course, criticisms on Singapore and Singaporeans. Ha!

Ok. My old blog address is http://www.livejournal.com/users/karrot_22. I can almost hear your thoughts, "Talk so much but never give us her old blog address."