Monday Blues #1

I think I’m experiencing the Monday Blues for once. I get annoyed at the slightest thing. For example, I’ve found another reason to add to my list of “Why I do not like to have long hair.” I hate it when women flick their hair in a crowded MRT train. Don’t they ever consider who is standing behind them? Like YOURS TRULY? I don’t like to have hair in my face, so stop flicking your long hair every few minutes; you’re not in a shampoo commercial and never will be. I was really annoyed this morning.

Another contributing factor to my mood is the two cystic acnes that are growing on my face: one on my chin and one near my nose. I woke up, showered, looked at myself in the mirror and started complaining to my mom the whole morning, without stopping to take a breather. Another reason to hate something – I hate what the climate is doing to my skin. I’m feeling so distraught that I don’t even feel like going to the gym tonight. URGH.

Hmm. Ok, something else to write about. I spent 15 minutes last night deleting all her text messages from my mobile phone. I went through each message and once I started to delete the first one, the rest came easily. I’m burning all bridges of hope I had of getting back together.

About a month ago, she asked me, “Why do I like a fucked up person like her?” Then I told her that it’s because whenever she’s at ease and comfortable with me, whenever she gives such a spirited laugh when I make fun of her and whenever she has that gleam of hope in her eyes, it is beauty she never realized she had. At least at that moment in time, her eyes spoke such truth to me.

Nevertheless, it’s over and I’ve moved on, or shall I say we've moved on. I can now say that the happiness I had felt and that she had given was laden with cynicism and fear. I deserve much better than that – something without all the excess baggage because mines already rather heavy for my shoulders.

I just recalled something while typing this out: didn’t my tarot reader mention that I carry too much on my shoulders? Hmm…

Oooo, we may have to end up doing OT and tearing out pages from the newsletters. All 5000 of them. *fingers crossed*. I'm so annoyed...